What stories are you telling yourself?

The power of the stories we tell ourselves and how they can dictate how we live and view life.

Ask my ego, and she’ll tell you we know exactly what we’re doing and waiting for. She’ll say it with enough conviction that you might even believe her. I did. That’s how strong the story was. I didn’t even realize it was a story. I thought it was the truth. But that story kept me stagnant. I haven’t been doing nearly as much as I know I’m capable of.

This piece is about the stories we tell ourselves. The ones that build walls. And the ones that, when we’re brave enough to question them, can tear those walls down.

If you happen to come across this piece and are open to being interviewed about a time you broke beyond, please reach out. I’d love to chat!

The other day, I was sitting at the desk in my bedroom-turned-part-office-during-COVID with my regular lineup of beverages. Water, protein shake, coffee, and coconut water. I was staring out the window looking out over the suburban street thinking about my life and where I’m at versus where I’d like to be. Caught, yet again, in one of my many contemplative moments, “Why haven’t we done the thing yet?” The response was the same one I’d told myself many times before. We’re waiting, Shailla, waiting for the intuitive green light.

I want to support people in chasing their dreams. Getting past their own self-limiting beliefs. Share stories of others who’ve done the same. To remind people that it isn’t easy, they aren’t alone, and that sometimes, we’re our own biggest barrier.

I have been sitting with my own feelings of defeat and hopelessness. I have a vision but I haven’t acted on it the way I know I’m capable of. These things I’ve been day dreaming about for a while now. These things that I know I enjoy doing but for some reason… don’t.

Then I recognized one of my stories. I was telling myself that I was waiting for a clear intuitive sign. I get them enough to recognize them clearly. Yet, I’d been waiting for the green light to take action on my dreams.

What?

I know.

I don’t need a cosmic thumbs-up to take steps towards what I want to achieve. Don’t get me wrong, I haven’t been sitting here twiddling my thumbs but I also haven’t been testing my comfort zones as much as I know I enjoy doing. You know why? Yep, been waiting for my intuition to guide me towards it as clearly as it has before.

I realized this waiting I was doing was fear holding me back. Fear of judgment. Fear of not being perfect. Fear of looking dumb. Fear of not doing it “right”. Fear of having wasted my time and earning potential towards a dream that just may not happen. So, I tell myself I’m waiting for a sign. Because once I get that divine yes, I’ll magically be put exactly where I want to be.

Sigh.

I had to take accountability for my lack of action. My inconsistency. The ways I wasn’t showing up for myself but prioritizing others. Their dreams. Their fears. Their struggles. I left mine on the back burner, waiting for the signal to move forward. Crippled by fear disguised as a story about waiting for a hit of intuition.

I enjoy sharing stories. Mine and others’. I love having conversations that dive right off the deep end. Where we laugh at past versions of ourselves while holding them with gentle compassion. They didn’t know what we know now.

It’s easy to make up stories about why we are where we are. It’s a way to make sense of things that don’t make sense to us in the moment.

But those stories might also dictate how we move in life. The stronger we hold onto these stories, the more they direct the actions we do or don’t take.

We can get down on ourselves about why we’re stuck, why things don’t seem to go our way, why this or why that. It’s easy. Because if this trend or outcome has been consistent in our life up until this point, how do we not?

My business idea didn’t work out, that must mean I’m dumb. I’m still single because I’m unlovable. I’m waiting for a sign to take action. Why did I think I could do this, I’ve never done something like this before. No way I could travel by myself, I’m too old.

I challenge you to notice when you find your mind repeating its own stories. They are often disguised so well that we hold them as truth rather than what they actually are, self-limiting beliefs our minds make up to keep us in a space where it knows what’s coming. Predictability.

You are not too old to take that leap. No matter how crazy it seems. You are not dumb or incapable if your business isn’t where you wished it would be. Being single has nothing to do with your lovability.

Our stories aren’t wrong or bad. We’re human. And if we tweak the story just a little, it can propel us forward.

My new story is that I will take consistent action towards my dreams and trust that my intuition will light up when something is a yes and warn me when it’s a no.

We don’t have control over much. But we can choose how we respond. Whether or not we take action. Whether we believe we can make a difference. Whether or not we trust ourselves to move forward, even if it’s messy.

So, tell me, what stories have you been telling yourself and are you ready to challenge them?

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Stay Tuned

Thank you for taking the time to read this post. Your attention could have been on any number of other things but you chose to spend time with my story. Subscribe or follow to keep up with this journey.

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Currently

Reading: The Transformation of Silence into Language and Action by Audre Lorde

Listening to: IMO: Focus On What’s Right About Young Men with Barack Obama

Thinking about: How I seem to be surprised by my emotions every month leading up to my period.

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Posts I Recently Read and Loved

1. when being right mattered more than being kind. by Bread & Butter

   Because in the end, being right never built a bridge. But being kind? That stays.

2. being too ambitious is a clever form of self-sabotage by Maalvika

   Creation is not birth; it is murder. The murder of the impossible in service of the possible.

3. Where to find media to consume instead of doomscrolling by Mapu

   Just an excellent compilation of resources.